"Surprise!" Well, probably not: on April Fools' Day we steel ourselves against believing anything. If aliens were ever to invade they would be wise to pick April 1st as their day of attack: we'd collectively refuse to believe that anything was happening up until their tentacles were firmly wrapped around our throats. We probably wouldn't even believe it then! It's hard to surprise people at the best of times, but once you essentially tell someone in advance that surprises are in store it becomes more than impossible.
One thing that never fails though: when I tell people I used to be a rapper. I mean, I don't look the part for one thing. For another, I don't really listen to Hip-Hop anymore. All said, it always seems to sound entirely unlikely to people. And rightly so: it sounds unlikely to me, and I was there at the time!
So in the spirit of our magical day of surprises, here's my special gift to you: an unreleased track from more years ago than I care to remember. There's a voice on there that may well be mine, but refusing as I do to believe that I was ever actually that young, you may all consider yourselves free to go ahead and think of some witty pseudonym for the guy. Meanwhile, I hope that today finds you all as unscathed and un-pranked as humanly possible.
The Beat's Just Screaming
12 hours ago