Drugs: Sammy Hagar Weekend

Sammy Hagar, cruisin' and definitely boozin'

Thelonious Monster - Sammy Hagar Weekend [purchase]

"Sammy Hagar Weekend" is autobiography, disguised as satire, and wrapped in parody. Bob Forrest wrote it partly about his experience at a September 1978 über-concert in Anaheim, California ("Summer Fest"), featuring Boston, Black Sabbath, Van Halen, and Sammy Hagar. However, the song also functions as a satire of the Heavy Metal Parking Lot culture. The parody comes at the end of the song, when the Monster transforms into a full-on heavy metal band, with pro gear, pro attitude, sweet licks, and slaytanic backward masking. Enjoy ... but kids, know when to say when.

Well, it's a Sammy Hagar weekend,
It's a Sammy Hagar state of mind,
It's a Sammy Hagar weekend,
It's a Sammy Hagar way of life.

We're gonna drink some beer,
Smoke some pot,
Snort some coke,
And then drive ... drive over 55, yeah.

'Cause it's a Sammy Hagar weekend,
It's a big man's day.

We got a Metallica T-shirt,
Got a little tiny baby mustache,
Got a jacked-up Camaro,
We're sittin' in the parking lot at Anaheim Stadium.

Drinkin' beer,
Smokin' pot,
Snortin' coke,
And then we drive ... drive over 55.

Cuz it's a Sammy Hagar weekend,
Well, it's a big man's day.

[metalriffic solo to finish]

[repeat chorus]

[descent into chaos > back-masking]

[Hagarification complete]

Baby Mine: My Boy

Thelonious Monster - My Boy [purchase]

"One day you and me, boy, we're gonna have it out, yeah,
And I know you'll probably hate me,
But that's life, boy."

We return to the Book of Bob for this week's contribution. Bob Forrest was/is the frontman for Thelonious Monster and he remains the patron saint of The Adios Lounge. "My Boy" is a U-turn in the band's catalog, a mournful piano ballad out of step from their shambolic rock 'n' roll wheelhouse. Bob wrote the song for his then-toddler son, Elijah, and is atypical for most baby songs in that it's written as a letter of apology. He knows that the kid was born into a broken, unstable family, soon to be wrecked by divorce, and that the toll on the boy will be immeasurable. He also knows that the boy will someday grow into a young man, at which time father and son will have it out. He knows this because, more than likely he went through it himself:

"Mom and dad, we're trying it for the first time and we're stable,
Pose for my boy,
Ain't it funny how history repeats itself,
She said that she never knew love could be so painful."

In just a few lines, Forrest subtly describes the legacy of familial dishonesty and dysfunction. Parents lie to their children because parents have always lied to their children. Sure, it doesn't capture a Capra-esque family moment, but it is undeniably and powerfully real. However, in being so honest, I think Bob was granting his son one of the greatest gifts a kid can get from his parents ... the truth.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER

I would be remiss if I didn't mention that Elijah turned out just fine, didn't become a drug-addicted fool, and in fact, plays music like (and occasionally with) his old man. The picture above shows father and son before a gig, Bob in the center (hands clasped as if in prayer) and his boy to his left, our right. Elijah plays in a duo called Terrors, whose self-styled shoegazing blues is not unlike Will Oldham in one of his many grizzled guises. Check it out, yo.

Civics Lessons: Lena Horne Still Sings Stormy Weather

Thelonious Monster - Lena Horne Still Sings Stormy Weather [purchase]

"They tore down Ships just like they tore down Tiny Naylor's,
They'll tear down anything in this town,
They'll do just about anything to squeeze an extra dime,
They'll probably even sell their own grandmothers.

Ah but Lena Horne still sings 'Stormy Weather,'
Yeah things, they're bad, but they could get better,
Yeah things, they're bad, but they could get better,
And I'm just waiting to see which way to go.
Yeah, I'm just waiting to see which way to go.

They say Jesse Jackson will never be President,
But yet, he's still the man I'd vote for,
'Cause people everywhere, we're workin' our ass off,
And can't even afford to pay our bills.

Ah, Lena Horne's still singing 'Stormy Weather,'
Well things, they're bad, but they could get better,
Well things, they're bad, but they could get better,
And I'm just waiting to see which way to go.
Yeah, I'm just waiting to see which way to go.

And I'm hopin' and a-prayin' and a-wishin' and givin' my all,
I'm hopin' and a-prayin' and a-wishin' and givin' my all."

One of Bob Forrest's finest moments as a songwriter and Thelonious Monster's finest moments as a band, "Lena Horne" is essentially a folk song done as rootsy punk rock. Forrest's songwriting triumph ... especially in the context of both Reagan/Bush and post-punk's golden age ... was in transcending a predictable vitriolic rant against "the system" to produce a compelling song of hope and belief. There's no reason for the protagonist to feel hope, especially against a backdrop of depressing and destructive forward-thinking materialism. After all, two of Los Angeles' most distinctive googie-style coffeehouses, Ships and Tiny Naylor's, were torn down because that's what Los Angeles, and by extension, of course, America, does. We don't preserve the village green. We raze it and open a Starbuck's. We'll do just about anything to squeeze an extra dime, we'll probably even sell our own grandmothers.

And yet, the song's message remains one of perseverance. Forrest doesn't say things are bad and getting worse. He says things are bad, but they could get better. A vote for Jesse Jackson isn't a pointless and cynical gesture of protest, it's one man's emphatic endorsement in the machinery of democracy as a force for change. Maybe we are working our asses off and can't afford to pay our bills, maybe Tiny Naylor's was torn down (pictured above), and maybe there are people who'll sell their own grandmothers. But, that doesn't mean things can't get better. We just have to believe they can get better and work and hope and pray and wish and give it our all.

Blog Names: The Adios Lounge

Thelonious Monster: Adios Lounge

[purchase]


Joining up with the Star Maker Machine brought more happy surprises than I could count. I was exposed to many bloggers I'd hadn't come across before, every one of them brought something unique to the table. Perhaps the biggest surprise was The Adios Lounge, which for reasons I can't explain hadn't shown up on my radar before.

The Adios Lounge gets into the nuts and bolts of tunes, not only as a music lover, but from a players standpoint as well, like how a drummer subtly slows the beat after a sax player joins in on the chorus. That kind of writing gets my attention because the author knows what they're talking about, Lance certainly does. Musically, I'm not sure of where he's been or what he's done, but you don't get that sort of knowledge by just watching from the sidelines.

The blog's name comes from a Thelonious Monster tune from their 1992 Beautiful Mess album, a duet between group leader Bob Forrest and Tom Waits. If there was ever a nonconformist musician, it's Bob Forrest. If there was ever a blog that doesn't conform to the usual flotsam and jetsam that seems to be the standard for the Blogosphere, it's The Adios Lounge. It's now one of my regular reads and it should be yours as well.

The Music Biz: Walk On Water

Thelonious Monster: Walk On Water [purchase]

Bob Forrest (pictured far right), lead singer and principal songwriter for Thelonious Monster ... and one of the patron saints of The Adios Lounge ... wrote this one over 20 years ago and I'd say it's as relevant now as it was then. Songs about the evil machinations of the music industry are legion, but rarely are the artists themselves held accountable. This is why Bob was one of the best songwriters (and most engaging frontmen) at Thelonious Monster's artistic peak, roughly 1986-93.

"Walk On Water" ... produced by Flea of the Red Hot Chili Peppers ... isn't just a song about a guy being wooed by the music biz. This is a song about a guy WANTING to be wooed by the music biz. He wants to believe he's as good as the suits, the groupies, and the music press say he is, that he's the next John Doe or Paul Westerberg. The irony is that at Thelonious Monster's best, they were every bit as good as X and The Replacements. Unfortunately, between the band's drug dependency, a constantly rotating cast of members, and Bob's legendary career sabotage, the Monster ended up as a footnote in rock history. Too bad, but then again, that's why blogs were invented, right?

Well, they keep telling me
Yeah, they keep telling me
That I could walk on the water
That I could walk on the water.

Buy me one drink after another
They buy me one drink after another
Tell me I could walk on water
On water, on water
Walk on the water, baby
Well, I could walk on water.

Well, they keep telling me
And I'm starting to believe
That I could walk on water
Well, I could walk on water.

Ahhh, what an asshole
What an asshole
What an asshole I must be think I could walk on water
Think I could walk on water
Take a walk ...

Walk on the water
Well, I can walk on the water
Me and John Doe and Paul Westerberg
Walking on the water
Walking on the water
On the water, on the water, baby
I can walk on water
Well, I can walk on water
Yeah, I can walk on water.