What could reflect the joy and terror of families better than a wedding, especially after a few gargles have been downed? It was only during the penning of my last piece I realised how little these pages have featured Oysterband, possibly the band I have seen live the most, from a small folk club gig in about 1986, to a classy arts centre last month, by way of myriad gigs and festivals in between. Yup, I love this band, even if I occasionally don't, citing enough is enough, they then pulling some trick or other to haul me back. Bastards!
Anyway, this song comes from their 1983 record Holy Bandits, and is a glorious amalgam of Fisherman's Blues era Waterboys and the thrash folk-punk of the Levellers, back-filtered with a bit of a lick and a polish: at the time the Oysterband were described as "like the Levellers after a good wash", a somewhat back handed compliment to either band. Still a staple in their live shows, it reflects the more boisterous part of their repertoire and acts as ballast against some of the more thoughtful material. It is a glorious hooley. As anyone who has been to lots of weddings can confirm, and I have had three of my own, the combination of booze and bonhomie can bring out the best and worst of individuals thrown together by dint of circumstance. If the adage is that you can choose your friends, but never your family, so too you can choose your spouse, but as with your own, the family comes gratis. And how often has the proud son of Mr Oil met with the beautiful daughter of Mr Water? The nuptials of the Petrol family with the family Flames come also to mind. (Mind you, it can and does work the other way too, my first wife and I always saying we could never divorce because of the parents, as in them getting on so well. Until, um, we did.)
"do you take this woman? said yes I do I love her like crazy and I think she loves me too but we'll do without the family if it's all the same to you happy ever after your mother is a flake my father's full of shite your sister says you married me in white just for spite well a party's not a party till it ends up in a fight happy ever after and there was my lot and your lot and us two in between this is the last time I get married this is the last time I get married my brother's never short of a substance to abuse rum & glue & Thunderbird & wizz & Special Brew any minute now he'll show us all of his tattoos happy ever after nephews are obnoxious nieces are too tall a dozen drunken uncles are pissing up the wall grandad is grinning but there's no one home at all happy ever after for richer, for poorer, for better or for worse now we are married, a blessing or a curse kiss me & don't forget what you see is what you get and the best man is the worst man, the best man is a beast underneath the table with the sister of the priest the way he's going at it she is probably deceased happy ever after granny's on the brandy getting bleary-eyed guys I went to school with want to see me outside someone's pulled the bridesmaid anyone seen the bride? happy ever after and there was my lot and your lot and us two in between this is the last time I get married this is the last time I get married "
Whet your thirst!
